Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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