We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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