We're like a lot better than the average bears
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
