someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
