I'm so fucking centered right now
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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