we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i think i have two assholes
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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