Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I understand Curling. That high.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
