after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Drunk walkin through police station. America
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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