What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
