Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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