i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
