Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
my shit smells like andre
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
