Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
