Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
