do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
