just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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