we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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