so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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