jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
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