Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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