if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
