omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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