Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
