is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
