Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
