there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
