i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
