Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
