My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
