I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
