I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
