I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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