sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm too high and old for this...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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