Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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