i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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