Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
