Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
cat food counts as protein by the way
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
