so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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