My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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