I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
