Cold hands, warm shart.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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