Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
