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I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
