What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
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