I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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