So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
don't judge my taste in strippers
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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