He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
