I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
