My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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