I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
