I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
