the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
