She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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